22

24 September, is the date that I feel getting older every year. As the title that you’ve read, 22 is a number that I’m afraid of this year. That is a number that I avoid to write every time I fill out the form of registration. Why? Cause it seems that my youth almost ends. I’m not a teenager anymore. People would see me as an adult that should be a leader for young people.

And I? I don’t have enough experience, I don’t have enough knowledge, too many sins that I’ve made, I still can’t be a good girl especially for my mom, my family, and my friend.

Being a 22 girl, I feel that my burden is increased. Not only the task in college life but a task of life such as.. How can I earn my money by myself? How can I built up my dream come true? How can I struggle and deal with all the problems? And another cliche questions.

Sometimes, I’m only thinking about myself that getting older every year without thinking that my parents are also getting old. I see wrinkles at the corner of their eyes, their body that becomes weakly, their smile is hidden all the pain of life. Can I wipe off their tears every night when they are praying for healthy and blessing to their beloved child?

Okay. It’s kinda melancholy. I hope in this 22 moment, I want to everyone, everybody around me, and you who read this post will always be healthy, be happy, have a long life, being a good man, can make our parents proud and also God always give His blessing for us.

❀

What the Doctor said when I suffer with hormonal acne?

Those pesky, painful, unpleasant acne is being my worst problem since I was in highschool. The first time I got a problem on my face, when I was on puberty around 15 yo, it spread on my forehead. Like a small bump, super itchy and The doctor said it wasn’t an acne. It’s because sun effect that causes for appearing of white bumps on my face then I rare to wash my face (actually I wash my face more than 5 times a day) so it makes whiteheads are coming. The doctor added maybe it because of your puberty effect. It can cause acne. So it’s normal.

Next, The doctor suggested to eat more vegetables, drink plenty of water, do an exercise routine, beauty sleep (Β±8 hours a day), don’t be stressed and be happy. She gave me some small yellow tablet and I should eat every day. BUT IT DOESN’T WORK FOR ME. I did all of the doctor said and my small pimples still on my forehead, instead of spreading on my cheeks. After eating the tablet that the doctor gave, my period becomes abnormal. In a month, it came twice or more. I was getting stressed because of an abnormal period and ashamed to interact with people because of my several pimples on my face.

After that, for a year, I’m not going to a doctor, I use my skincare as usual that I bought it from a drugstore. However, my white and little pimples became a real acne. It’s getting red, big bump, itchy, and gather in one place (especially on my cheeks) it makes my face horrible and rough when I touched to wash my face. I got bullying because of my terrible acne. Some of them said that I’m ugly, some of them pitying me because I was pretty πŸ˜‚ and my homeworks, exam, and worrying about grades on school made me anxious and you must know, my acne keeps staying.

I’ve got a suggest from my friend that has the same problem as me to go to the doctor. And of course the different doctor than before. He said the factor that causes my acne are because of so many factors such as:

1. A dust that adheres on my oily face and stays beside my pores then I didn’t wash clearly,

2. Food that you eat, include peanut, milk, and chocolate. (All my favorite food) T.T

3. Hormonal and genetic acne (then I remember my father have an acne on his back)

And He gave me capsules, a night and day cream, and facial wash to reduce my acne. I should come routinely to see the progress. And it needs more 1 year and I don’t have enough money to purchase all stuff. πŸ˜… and my acne still comes and go. Sometimes my face is clear and then break out and I’m kinda stressed. I gave up. And tried a traditional medicine, tried a cheap until expensive one to get rid of my acne, watching all YouTube vlogger that have same problems, following the tips all of them for 2 years or more. And I cameback again to the same doctor then he gave me the same treatment, but nothing happened.

Β±3 years passed by, now I have a freelance job and also income every month. It’s not much but it can handle my necessary for college and skin problem. I find an aesthetic skincare that handled by Doctor, it recommends from my friend that have a scar on her face it getting disappear. Two months after I used their products and treatments my acne isn’t active anymore. The doctor was so happy. Next, she does IPL treatment for acne. And booms! Acne and pimples getting back again. I don’t know how to do. She said IPL is not working for me. (I think she tried the treatment on my face) I was disappointed and didn’t continue my consultation until now.

The point iis.. Be happy though you have several acne. It’ll disappear. Don’t be hopeless and don’t be tired to cure acne. Let the acne tired to stay on our face then they will go out! 😒❀❀❀

August Highlight

Hellooo!! The end of August’s day has come. Summer break is already passed. I’ve spent 3 months in outlying place and is such a great experience for me. I met a lot of new people and new friends. And I just comeback home last week. I compiled every moment, capture every view that I loved. But some virus was detected on my storage then everything was gone. I’m distressed and looking for ways to get my files back again. So, here some pictures that didn’t infect by the virus which tells me a lot of story behind it and also keep my memories.

August 17 (Independence day)

Every delegation of a village come to center field with their stuff

Jojodog Race

Painting in a wall

Here we are~

Some media is can’t be detected πŸ™

Puteran Village

Staying in outlying place is such a big deal for me. No signal. No transportation. Living like in the forest, with traditional culture. Puteran, one of Cikalong Wetan villages is not too far from main city. It needs around 45 minutes to go there through the forest, trees, creepy places but fresh view with beautiful landscape.

Its hard for me to get communication with other people out there like my family, my Facebook friends, Twitter friends, my followers on Instagram and you who’s reading this post right now. ❀

I’ll spend 40 days in Puteran to do dedication for people and helping to make the village better (Sounds so serious) the truly is this is one of my college subject called “KKN(Kuliah Kerja Nyata)” or in another word, Community Service Program.

We do a lot of programs that collaboration with a Babinsa (Bintara Pembina Desa) or noncommissioned law enforcement officer posted in villages and wards and affiliated with the civilian administration.

I have been here for 14 days and I’m not homesick anymore. I learn to adapt myself in here with a new people and new culture. I don’t think that I can forget all moment with my friends here . I’m sure that I’ll yearn all the memories that we made.

Ramen

Ramen is one of my favorite foods since I met you. No. I mean since high school. One big bowl of Ramen purchased IDR30.000 or around US$2.8. I love ramen with sausage and sea toppings on it.

It super delicious and tasty also we can asked for more topping if we want. πŸ˜‹β€

What would you say?

Have you ever like someone in the past, but he’s so famous among the girls
Then you gave up and hide your feelings for a years?

That’s exactly what I did.

After Β±9 years we didn’t meet each other, yesterday we meet up in reunion. And the things happen.

“I liked you”

What would you do? What would you say? Would you reply and say “me too” ?
Or remain silent rather than said anything that will change his feeling?

Honestly, though it his past feelings, but it feels like present and future feelings for me.

It makes my heart flustered. I can’t control this feelings.

“You are my bride candidate” he added when our eyes met.

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY??

My heart is become pounding, my faces turning into red tomatoes, I really want to say that I like you too. But its so many eyes staring to us. Waiting for my response. I’m too speechless.

I don’t know how if it was joking or only to flirting with my feelings? Is it true statement? If it is true,
I’ll be so glad. And hope you’re really my future groom πŸ˜‚

And I’m so exited that I was not in unrequited love. Thanks.

Feeling dizziness and nausea during Yoga practice

As the title you just read, that is exactly what I feel everytime doing Yoga. First time I did Yoga was around 2014 and do frequently until 2015. And 2016 until now, I’m only do Yoga if I got bored or need some brain rest cause of hectic with college life. Sometimes I do Yoga to create nice shape of my body. πŸ˜‚

I practice yoga by myself often. I tried on YouTube videos from beginner then advanced and expert. I follow all the instructor said from beginning until end.

For beginner class Β±20 minutes, do basic movement and I can through all of it without any serious problem. Meanwhile there’s no significant effect of my muscles. So, I can passed a beginner class for one time.

The next routine day, I bravely tried advance class, Β±30 minutes and I found a difficult movement such as Firefly poses. It took me a long time to do this pose. My back spine and waist perceived warm, my hand was trembling and I fall many times. My hand can’t handle weight of my body.

Credit: Alo Yoga (firefly pose)

Tired of hard poses, I was curious about expert yoga class Β±1 hour and It’s almost same poses with advanced class and beginner class but little bit longer to keep that poses up. Expert Yoga class need more energy and strength to feel your body response. And this class made me unwell. I got dizziness, nausea, and almost vomiting.

I’m waiting for the instructor changes their poses, but she said “exhale, inhale” I motivated myself that almost there, Seli! You can make it! Then a cold sweat run from my forehead. But that’s no matter. My body will deserve a better result.

What I love from Yoga is in the ending. It so relax for laying down and keep mind take a rest from all anxious, stressed, depressed, and life problems. I ever do it then going slumbering because of surrounded by serenity.

That’s how my Yoga practice going. When I’m in my mood to do exercise, I also do Yoga, Pilates (I’ll post later about Pilates) and Zumba to make my body keep healthy and ideal (but it still not work for me yet). All what we want is about process. Good process will get us to excellent result.

Happy International Yoga Day 2018! If you know the reason why I feel dizziness and nausea during Yoga practice comment down below and NamasteπŸ™